dudee did you hear about the new fear factor now its called "fuck factor" ok ok here's how it goes down

FIRST CHALLENGE:

you gotta chop off your partners arms with a CHAINSAW! and eat off seven fingers and after you ate off seven fingers you gotta make yourself puke the seven fingers and re-attach them then you gotta rip their guts out and eat the small intestines (which is actually pretty good with toast) then replace the small intestine with a moose shit then you gotta eat fourteen laxatives and be locked in a room with nothing but rotting copses for three weeks, but while completing this whole mission singing "My Heart Will Go On" to the tune of Row Row Row your boat.

SECOND CHALLENGE:

CONGRADULATIONS! you're not dead! (yet) for this challenge you gotta juggle 3,687 sharp knives and daggers for 5 weeks in a pit of hot lava while an HIV positive man who hasnt showered for 4 months cuts little wounds into you and infests them with maggots and fleas, then cleans your bloody throbbing wounds with bleach and then the HIV positive man has to rape you in the ass with a seventy three foot pole and you gotta pull the whole pole out through your mouth, the entire time singing "Wisconsen Death Trip," to the tune of Row Row Row your boat

THIRD CHALLENGE:

you gotta have sex with Rosie O'Donnell for two minutes (and not fall or get trapped in, if ya know what I mean) but you have to sing "Fat Bottom Girls" to the tune of Row Row Row your boat.

FOURTH CHALLENGE:

last challenge! (but compared to the last one, this one is gonna be so easy) for this one you gotta drink two bowls of toxic waste while slicing off little sections of your eyeballs with barbed wire. Then you gotta saw your head open with a (guess what i'm about to say) CHAINSAW!!!! then rip out your brain and blow your nose in it then dissect a dead cat and eat its anus. After that, you have to act emo and hang yourself from a tree on a cliff then jump off the cliff and fart the alphabet, and then (if your not dead) cut the rope, fall from the cliff and land in a bed of spikes. During this challenge you gotta sing "Barbie Girl" to the tune of.... oh fuck whats that song called? The one with the boat, and you row it?